Baloo Can't Handle the Truth
by Ann29
Summary: Fed up with Baloo's lies, Rebecca wishes that her pilot has to tell the truth for a day.
1. Chapter 1

**Baloo Can't Handle the Truth**

 _TaleSpin and its characters are the property of Disney/Buena Vista and are used without permission._

 _ **Higher for Hire  
**_ _ **One Afternoon...**_

"And that's how the emus and cookware salesmen ended up in the hot tubs we delivered. Honest, Becky."

Rebecca Cunningham knew her pilot was being anything but honest. Her suspicions were confirmed by eleven-year-old navigator, Kit, who seemed to be fascinated by a crack on the floor. Exhausted and furious after a long day of trying - and failing - to placate hotheaded Hubert of Hubert's Hot Tub Haven, she drew a big breath as if to begin a tirade, then changed her mind and slumped into her chair. "Fine, Baloo."

Astonished that his boss hadn't yelled at him, Baloo gasped, "Wha...really?"

She halfheartedly gestured towards the door. "Just...go away."

As Baloo and Kit made their hasty departure, Rebecca packed up her briefcase, muttering under her breath, "If that fat bear spent as much time working as he does thinking up excuses for _not_ working, Higher for Hire would be in a lot better shape financially. Why I even decided to buy this business and hire that stupid pilot is beyond me." She slammed her briefcase shut and started for the door. "Emus and cookware salesmen, my foot!"

For emphasis, she slammed the office door shut behind her and stomped to her car.

She muttered under her breath as she picked her daughter, Molly, up from the babysitter's.

She muttered under her breath as she and Molly went to the grocery store.

She was _still_ muttering under her breath as she and Molly ate dinner.

Molly, a very precocious five-year-old, asked around a mouthful of mashed potatoes, "Is Baloo in hot water again, Mom?"

Smiling wryly at the little girl's word choice, Rebecca replied, "You could say that, pumpkin."

"Look, it's the wishbone! Make a wish and pull."

 _I wish that for just one day Baloo_ had _to tell the truth,_ Rebecca thought wearily as she tugged on the wishbone.

"Yay, Mommy, you won!"

 _ **Meanwhile…  
**_ _ **Higher for Hire's Kitchen**_

"I can't believe Miz Cunningham let us off that easy," Kit said, picking at the pepperoni on his pizza. "There's no _way_ she swallowed that story."

Baloo carefully added his empty plate to the towering stack of dirty dishes in the sink. "There's nuthin' wrong with makin' a few extra bucks on the side, kiddo, and if I gotta tell a little lie, then…" He shrugged unconcernedly.

"A _little_ lie? Passing those two huge guys off as cookware salesmen?"

"Hey, we got a hundred shaboozies up front to sneak 'em and those emus through customs."

"Why did they want emus anyway?"

"Somethin' about eggs. I figgered they wanted to make fancy-pants omelets." Baloo went into the office and flipped on the radio. Dancing around the room, he shouted over the jazz music, "Besides, everything worked out in the end!"

"You call being banned from entering the country for a year 'working out'?"

"Who cares about getting kicked out of Jenzeebar? Everything's topsy-turvy there anyways."

"I'm sure Miz Cunningham does," Kit murmured guiltily. He thought of how hard she had tried to make Higher for Hire profitable in the few short weeks since she had bought the business. Sighing, he picked up a dishcloth and began washing the pile of dishes in the sink.

 _ **Meanwhile…  
**_ _ **A Red Seaplane Flying Over a Dark Ocean**_

"Gah! Get dose birds away from me, ya peach pits!" exclaimed the short crocodile who was being chased around the cargo hold by two hungry emus. The birds were pecking at his floppy brown hat.

"But ya told us to give you da birds, boss," said the very stupid voice of Rhino Goon. Reaching back to the cargo hold from the pilot's seat, he grabbed both of the emus' necks in one meaty fist, causing the birds' eyes to bulge out of their heads.

"You told us," echoed the stupider voice of Ape Goon from the co-pilot's seat. Despite the fact that both birds were female, he had named them George and George.

Trader Moe ruefully poked a finger through the new holes in the top of his hat. "I wanted yas ta get me dese birds, because once a year dey do sometin' very valuable."

"Come down da chimney to give us presents?" Ape Goon guessed eagerly.

Trader Moe whacked the grin off of Ape Goon's face with his hat. "They lay an egg, ya lugnuts! And not just any egg. Rare Fabriget eggs worth millions."

"Uh-oh," Rhino Goon said, glancing at his hulking counterpart. "One of da birds laid an egg on dat other plane."

"Yeah, not here," Ape Goon said worriedly. He didn't like the anger growing in his boss's eyes.

Both goons cringed, waiting for the explosion.

" _WHAT?_ " Trader Moe's furious shout made the entire plane shudder.

 _ **Higher for Hire  
**_ _ **The Next Morning…**_

After the _Sea Duck_ was loaded and ready to head out on another day of deliveries, Rebecca was giving her flight crew some last-minute instructions.

"Did you get all that, Baloo?" she asked, looking up from the clipboard to her pilot who was lazily leaning against the hull of the seaplane, picking his teeth with his fingernail.

"Nope. I stop listenin' when you start yammerin' 'bout boring details, Becky."

Kit's jaw dropped in disbelief. Baloo had never been that blatantly brazen to their boss before.

"Well, detail this, buster!" Rebecca tweaked Baloo's ear, prompting a pained yelp from the big bear. "If you don't promptly deliver these begonia seeds to Bloomintown, you will be _fired!_ " With a final, savage pinch, she released his ear.

Wincing in pain, Baloo said soothingly, "Cool your engines, boss lady. Me and Kit'll deliver 'em... after a quick stop at Louie's."

Kit's jaw dropped a little more. He followed Baloo into the _Sea Duck's_ cockpit, wondering if his Papa Bear had a death wish.

"Refueling the _Sea Duck_?" Rebecca asked. She handed the clipboard with the delivery paperwork to Baloo through the plane's open window. The big bear, in turn, tossed it to his navigator.

"Yep and refueling the big guy." Baloo patted his ample stomach, fastened his seatbelt, and began flipping switches in the _Sea Duck's_ start-up sequence. "Louie's bacon, egg, star fruit, and tabasco breakfast burrito is the B-E-S-T best."

Luckily for Baloo and Kit, the roar of the Superflight 100 engines drowned out Rebecca's ranting.

As the _Sea Duck_ backed away from Higher for Hire and their boss, who was still yelling at the end of the dock, Kit asked, "Why'd you tell Miz Cunningham we were going to Louie's? You _know_ it makes her mad."

"Yeah, but it's the truth, ain't it?" Baloo replied, reversing the props then ramping up the throttle.

"I guess..." Kit shot Baloo an uneasy look as the _Sea Duck_ ascended into the sky.

End of part 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Baloo Can't Handle the Truth  
** **Part 2**

 _TaleSpin and its characters are the property of Disney/Buena Vista and are used without permission._

 _ **Approaching Bloomintown  
**_ _ **Hours Later...**_

Kit shifted his gaze from the rain pelting the _Sea Duck's_ windshield to the map on his lap, to his compass, and finally to his watch. As usual, the 'quick stop' at Louie's hadn't been so quick, which meant, as was also usual, they were late.

"Uh, Baloo, we were supposed to be at Bloomintown at exactly one o'clock and it's almost three-thirty."

"Relax, Li'l Britches. We're r-r-right on...on…" The big bear seemed to choke on the words. "I mean, it's cl-close enough for j-j-j-j-j-jazz. Gah! We're really late!"

"You okay, Papa Bear?" Not for the first time that day, Kit got the feeling that something was wrong. Baloo was being strangely...honest.

"Yeah. No, um..." Baloo took a swig of soda pop and cleared his throat loudly. "Least Becky ain't here to squawk at us."

"Baloo!" Both pilot and navigator jumped guiltily when Rebecca's voice came over the radio.

The pilot picked up the microphone with trepidation. "Yeah, Becky?"

In a saccharine, singsong voice that spelled disaster, Rebecca said, "Miss Doolittle wants to know why she doesn't have her begonia seeds yet. Hmm?"

"Air p-p-p...I mean, a hurric-c-c-c-...I mean, a p-p-pack of p-p-panicked p-p-pachyderms?" Baloo's tongue stumbled over his litany of excuses. In desperation, he shouted, " _I'm a bad employee!_ "

"I know," Rebecca said drily. "That's why if you don't deliver those begonia seeds ASAP, I'll fire you PDQ!"

Cold sweat beading on his forehead, Baloo threw the throttles wide open and raced towards the Bloomintown airport, which was directly ahead.

" _Baloooooo!_ " Kit wailed as the _Sea Duck_ barrelled into the path of three tanklike Thembrian cargo planes that had just taken off from the tarmac. He clapped his hands over his eyes to avoid seeing their inevitable demise.

After a lot of bouncing around in his seat, some skidding and crashing sounds, and some angry oaths from Baloo, the seaplane finally came to a screeching halt. Kit tentatively peeked through his fingers.

What he saw was not pretty.

Scratched, dented, and smoking planes littered the runway. Packages, boxes, and bags - their contents becoming drenched by the rain - were strewn around. Pilots and their passengers were shouting at each other. Some were pointing accusing fingers at the _Sea Duck_.

"It can't get any worse than this," Baloo moaned, sinking further into his seat as if he wished he were solid gone.

"Think again." Kit pointed at the giraffe cop on a motorcycle speeding their way.

The cop, water streaming from his hat, pulled up next to the _Sea Duck_ and stuck his head into the open cockpit window. "Did you cause all this?"

Baloo nodded, then shook his head, then nodded.

"What's your problem, Mac?"

"I'm an inconsiderate idjit." Startled at by what he just said, Baloo clamped his right hand over his mouth. But his left hand was mysteriously compelled to tug his right hand away from his mouth. He mumbled guiltily, "There's something else you should know, officer."

"What?" The giraffe punctuated his question by ripping the ticket from his pad and handing it to Baloo. The big bear winced at the amount on the piece of paper.

As if against his will, Baloo hung his head and admitted, "I have unpaid parking tickets." When he opened the glove box, a pile of parking tickets poured out onto Kit's lap and the floor.

Baloo groaned as the police officer wrote another ticket.

"Be more careful next time, Mac," the officer growled, handing the second ticket to Baloo. "And pay those parking tickets."

Afraid of saying more and getting more tickets, Baloo held his breath as the policeman walked away.

Kit scooped tickets back into the glove box. "We're in enough trouble as it is. Why'd you tell him about the parking tickets?"

Baloo exhaled loudly. "I can't lie!" After thinking about it for a minute, he reiterated wonderingly, panickingly, "I can't lie? This can't happen! I've been tellin' fibs since I wore a bib!"

Kit looked perplexed. He'd seen some weird things in his short life, but this took the cake. "Well, uh, start with a small lie. Say my shirt is red."

"Your shirt is r-r-r..." Baloo grit his teeth in determination and tried again. "R-r-r... _green!_ See! I can't lie!"

Both jumped when they heard a sharp rap on the airplane's hull. They hurried back to the cargo hold, almost tripping over something in the process.

"An egg." When Kit picked it up, the shell shattered; the pieces hit the ground with a tinkly sound. The boy held a beautiful silver filigree egg. Suspended in the center of the delicate curlicues was a tiny gold bird, its beak open as if it were singing.

"And what an egg!" Realizing that it was a Fabriget egg, green dollar signs appeared in Baloo's eyes.

Suddenly, the cargo door was impatiently yanked open by a female horse clad in a flower print dress, carrying an umbrella. She was as loud as her dress. "How kind of you to finally come. The insane rain does nothing for my mane!" She attempted to smooth her mass of frizzy, curly hair.

Kit quickly hid the Fabriget egg behind his back.

"Miss Doolittle, I presume?" Off her annoyed look, Baloo proceeded to quickly spill the beans. "We're really late, 'cause I was in a chili dog eating contest with Slim at Louie's. I lost. Don't know where that guy puts it all. Here are your seeds, lady." He picked up the only box in the cargo hold and shoved it at her. "And the main thing wrong with yer mane is that bad perm."

"How rude!" Miss Doolittle snorted. She whacked him on the head with her umbrella before leaving.

Frowning, Baloo rubbed his head. "Man, the truth hurts!"

"You really can't lie, can you?" Kit observed thoughtfully.

"Forget that. We got somethin' more important to think about."

Kit carefully handed the egg to Baloo. "One of those emus must have laid this yesterday. Do you know what this means?"

"Those two guys stole those emus from the Jenzeebar royal garden, and if the authorities find out we have this, we're _kkkrrrrrrk_." Baloo made a slashing motion across his throat.

"What are we gonna do?" Kit squeaked. He was too young for _kkkrrrrrrk_. "Throw it overboard?"

"And throw away all this moolah? Nuh-huh. There's only one place we can sell this million dollar baby no questions asked. Plot me a course to Cove Fefi, navigator."

Kit gulped nervously.

 _ **Cove Fefi  
**_ _ **Later...**_

Cove Fefi was a wretched hive of scum and villainy surrounded by a scummy swamp. A smuggler's paradise, it was populated with pawn shops and people looking to make a quick, but not exactly legal, buck. Despite the streetlights, the litter-strewn streets felt like dark alleys.

Kit kept very close to Baloo as they traversed the main street. The last time he had been here was burned in the back of his mind. It was an experience he'd tried hard to forget.

Pirate Island was tame compared to this place. Nearly every block, there were men slugging or shooting it out. Kit recognized a few of them as ex-pirates. Women with hats shading their faces beckoned to them from doorways, selling everything from phony Series tickets to bogus treasure maps. Kids snaked their way through the crowds, pickpocketing the adults and each other.

Suddenly, a grizzled lion wearing an overcoat stepped in front of Baloo and Kit, leering at them with his good eye. "Wanna have the time of your life?" He opened his overcoat to reveal his merchandise - watches, bracelets, earrings, etc. "Buy a watch?"

"Not tonight, bub," Baloo growled, pushing past him.

The lion persisted, following them. "What's in the box?"

If ever there was a time to lie, it was now. Unfortunately, all Baloo could say was, "Fabriget egg."

"Fabriget egg!" the old man wheezed loudly, grabbing for the box.

Baloo whisked it above his head, out of the lion's reach.

The words 'Fabriget egg' spread like wildfire. All slugging, shooting, scamming, and stealing stopped. Everyone's attention turned towards Baloo and Kit, especially the box in the big bear's hand.

"Uh-oh," Baloo and Kit said simultaneously.

Someone shouted, "Get 'em!" And the stampede began.

"Pull chocks!" Kit yelled.

The two bears ducked into the nearest shop…and almost got hit by a flying axe. The axe head bit deep into a target hanging right beside the door.

"Whoa, baby! Talk about your close shaves!" Baloo yelped as the crowd inside the store laughed raucously.

Eyeing the glowering, axe-wielding men, Kit felt exactly two inches tall. And he figured those men would have no qualms cutting him into two-inch pieces. "What now, Papa Bear?"

"This way!" Baloo said, leading the boy outside. Spying the money-hungry mob coming their way, he skidded to a stop. "That way!"

They ran back into the pawn shop.

Tucking the box containing the Fabriget egg firmly under his arm, Baloo barreled through the line of axe-wielding men, knocking them down like bowling pins. The bears sped out the back door into the alley, tipping over a couple of garbage cans and scaring a stray cat in the process.

Hearing the chant of 'Fabriget egg' getting closer, they pushed through the rotting screen door of the building directly across the alley from the pawn shop they had just exited. They found themselves in another pawn shop. The dusty, dingy store with its knock-off merchandise epitomized the word 'sleaze', but seemed quiet enough.

They didn't notice the proprietor - a potbellied, bespectacled panther - tied up and gagged behind the counter.

Instead, they saw a diminutive crocodile with a tall, floppy hat standing behind the cash register. His beady eyes gleamed as they approached. "May I help youse?"

"Yeah. We have a Fabriget egg for sale," Baloo said, placing the box on the long counter. He was willing to take whatever this guy offered him. The faster they sold the egg and got out of Cove Fefi, the better.

"If I may ask, how'd youse get possession of dis fine article?"

Baloo, the truthful, stammered, "We...we…found it...we b-b-b-b-bought..." Angrily, he said, "Doggone it! We helped a couple of guys steal the emu that laid this."

"Like dem?" Trader Moe - for Trader Moe it was - jerked a thumb behind him.

As if on cue, Rhino Goon and Ape Goon stepped out of the storage room behind the counter, cracking their knuckles. Trader Moe and his goon squad's expressions were not friendly.

"Yeah," Baloo said, sharing a frightened look with Kit.

End of part 2


	3. Chapter 3

**Baloo Can't Handle the Truth  
** **Part 3**

TaleSpin _and its characters are property of Disney/Buena Vista and are used without permission._

 _ **The Swamp on the Outskirts of Cove Fefi**_

The full moon, making the night almost as bright as day, reflected off the still waters of the swamp as well as the end of a large corrugated pipe protruding from the side of a grassy bank. The pipe carried wastewater from the city to the swamp.

 _Glug, glug_ …

A rat and four tiny turtles, heeding the familiar warning, scurried out of the end of the pipe and scrambled onto the bank. A few seconds later, dirty water gushed from the pipe along with a small bear cub and a large bear.

" _Whoa!_ " Baloo and Kit shouted as they shot out of the pipe and dropped like rocks into the murky swamp.

Surfacing, Kit spluttered, "Cookware salesmen, huh?"

Baloo wiped algae slime from his face and reached for his hat, which was floating a few feet away. Trying to make light of the situation, he said, "Well, they did cook up a lotta trouble for us."

Half swimming, half wading towards the shore, Kit said, "I guess that's that. Trader Moe and his goons have the Fabriget egg, and we're going back to Cape Suzette."

"And give up our chance to buy back the _Duck_ and be rich for the rest of our lives? No can do, partner." Baloo flopped like a very wet whale onto very squishy land. He reached over and pulled Kit out of the swamp. "We just gotta figger out a plan to get the egg back from the bad guys of unusual size."

"How?" Kit got to his feet and wrung his sweater out.

"I dunno." Baloo shrugged. "I'm makin' this up as I go. But ol' Papa Bear's got half a plan that...that…" Finally, he hastily admitted, "Prob'ly won't work."

"I have half a mind to take the _Sea Duck_ and fly home," Kit muttered. He kicked at a clump of cattails then reluctantly followed Baloo back to the city.

 _ **Later…  
**_ _ **Back at Cove Fefi**_

A big, moustached bear in a trench coat that was three sizes too small traversed the street. As he walked, he shed cheap jewelry and watches like Hansel and Gretel leaving a trail of clinking crumbs.

The jewelry hitting the sidewalk attracted the attention of the greedy Cove Fefi citizens. They scrambled for the brass and cubic zirconia items like children grabbing for candy at a parade.

"Those doodads are makin' the locals wise to us, Li'l Britches," the big man hissed, addressing the oddly shaped lump on his chest, under the coat.

"Hey, sorry, but those doodads are poking me," was the lump's whispered retort. "I can't believe you paid that guy twenty shaboozies for this lousy disguise."

"What's with you, lady?" Baloo touched his moustache to make sure it was still attached. It was. "What? Ya never seen a guy talk to his kid...coat...kid before?"

The woman, who had been giving Baloo a confused look, snatched a watch from a child and skedaddled.

The little girl yelled, "Hey, I had that first, Mom!" and ran after her.

Leaving several people squabbling over fake Roarlexes, Baloo stepped into the pawn shop temporarily occupied by Trader Moe and his goons. Luckily for the two bears, Trader Moe, the brains of the operation, was busy trying to steal the second Fabriget egg away from the emus in the back room. From the shouting and crashing, it was obvious that it was not going well.

"Visitor, boss!" both goons called simultaneously.

"You take care of 'em. I'm... _ow!_ _Stupid emu!_ Busy!"

"How can we's help youse?" asked Rhino Goon. He looked like he wanted to forcefully 'help' Baloo out the door.

Baloo eyed the Fabriget egg on the counter, tantalizingly within reach. Then he eyed the hulking goons towering behind it. He had to distract them somehow. "I wanna see that candy dish waaaay up there." He pointed to the very top shelf, which was approximately fifteen feet above them.

Instead of using the ladder propped against the shelves, the goons began trying to climb on each other's shoulders.

"I'll get it."

"No, I'll get it."

"Hold still."

"You hold still."

Finally, after falling down in a store-shaking heap a couple of times, Rhino Goon decided that Ape Goon would climb on his shoulders.

"Now, Kit," Baloo whispered as Ape Goon began his precarious ascent. Several knickknacks crashed to their demise in the process.

"Got it!" Ape Goon said, holding up the candy dish triumphantly as he wobbled on Rhino Goon's shoulders.

Kit, who was tied by a rope to Baloo's chest, reached his arms from out of the trench coat, snatched the Fabriget egg, and pulled it back under the coat. "So do I," the boy whispered with a grin. Baloo began sidling out of the store.

After Ape Goon descended with the candy dish, Rhino Goon noticed that something was missing from the counter. "Hey, where's da egg?"

"It's not dere."

"The boss is not gonna be happy," the goons sang in stereo, glaring at the big bear, who had his hand on the doorknob.

Baloo, the truthful, started to stammer and sweat. His false moustache trembled, threatening to detach itself.

" _Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it_ ," Kit thought desperately under the coat.

 _ **A Little While Later…  
**_ _ **Back at the Swamp**_

Baloo and Kit, minus one Fabriget egg, flew out of the pipe into the swamp.

"You just _had_ to say it," Kit said accusingly.

" _Pitooey_!" Baloo spit out the false moustache, which had been crammed into his mouth. "Can I help it if I can't lie?"

"Got any more bright ideas?" Kit asked sarcastically, wringing out his cap.

"Bright ideas?" Smiling, Baloo snapped his fingers. "As a matter of fact…"

 _ **Ten Minutes Later…**_

Pilot and navigator flew out of the pipe and did synchronized belly flops into the swamp.

Surfacing, Kit spit a stream of water out of his mouth. " _Blech!_ I know those goons aren't that bright, but did you really think they'd believe we were light bulb salesmen?"

"Ya gotta admit, it was watts of fun." Off the boy's annoyed look, Baloo said, "Don't worry, Li'l Britches, this next idea'll trick 'em for sure."

 _ **Fifteen Minutes Later…**_

Once again, the two bears flew out of the pipe and splashed into the swamp. Perched atop the pipe, the rat held up four fingers to the tiny turtles, indicating that it was the fourth time. The rat and turtles seemed to be laughing.

Surfacing, Kit coughed, " _Magicians?_ "

Baloo doffed a black top hat, revealing a rabbit sitting on his head. The rabbit jumped from his head to Kit's head to dry land, vanishing into the cattails surrounding the swamp. "Hey, that disappearin' trick of Louie's always worked before. 'Course, he never really let me in on how it was done."

Kit was more than a little fed up. He was tired of being flushed through that pipe, plus he knew he'd have to take at least five baths to get the swamp smell out of his fur. "Face it, Baloo, none of your screwball schemes will work, because _you can't lie._ "

"You're right, Kit-boy," admitted a dejected Baloo.

Relieved, Kit scrambled out of the swamp and held out a hand to help Baloo out.

Getting an idea, Baloo's face brightened. "Which means the only way to get that egg is to tell the truth."

Shaking his head, Kit said to himself, "I think he's finally cracked."

 _ **Back at Cove Fefi**_

"I can't believe you spent your last shaboozie on glow-in-the-dark sunglasses," Kit said as a group of Cove Fefi citizens sped by them, a chant of 'Fabriget egg' on their lips and blazing torches in their hands.

"Hey, I had to have some kind of disguise from those hard-boiled egg hunters. Besides, I think that little what's-his-name might be onto somethin'. _Oof!_ " Baloo had smacked face-first into a streetlight pole.

"Yeah, like a broken nose." Seeing two men enter the pawn shop where Trader Moe and his goons were, Kit exclaimed, "Baloo, look!"

"I wonder what's in that crate that guy's carryin'? C'mon, Li'l Britches." Tucking the sunglasses into his shirt pocket, Baloo led Kit to the alley behind the pawn shop. Crouching on either side of the door, they peered through the torn screen with bated breaths.

Trader Moe was saying, "Ah, Mr. Sultan, how nice of youse to join us here."

Mr. Sultan, the CEO of Miniversal Corporation, peered around the pawn shop nervously. The night had a thousand eyes in Cove Fefi; his reputation could be tarnished forever if his actions became known in the outside world. "Please, no names," he said brusquely, pulling his fedora down in an attempt to conceal his face. "Do you have what I'm here for?"

"First, let's see if you've got what _I'm_ here for." Trader Moe grinned, revealing a mouthful of pointed teeth.

One glance at the two armed goons towering behind Trader Moe and the portly tiger started sweating through his expensive three-piece silk suit. He turned to the panther sagging under the weight of the crate. "Give the man what he wants."

The panther gladly set the crate down on the floor.

"Boys." Trader Moe snapped his fingers. In less than two seconds, the goons had ripped the crate apart with their bare hands.

"A washing machine?" Kit whispered in disbelief.

Baloo shrugged before returning his attention to the scene inside the pawn shop.

"Per your request, my team of inventors designed it so that with a push of a button, you can wash fifty clamshells at once. It'll also automatically dry and polish them," Mr. Sultan said, showing Trader Moe all the appliance's features.

"Why do you wanna clean clams, boss?" Rhino Goon asked.

Ape Goon, looking very perplexed, echoed, "Yeah, what clams are clean?"

"At Moolah-Boolah, clean clamshells are worth twice as much as dirty clamshells. If we charge everyone for laundering their clams, we'll make a fortune. Give him da eggs, boys."

Mr. Sultan held his new shiny possessions aloft, his smile gleaming as brightly as the tiny golden birds at the center of the eggs. "Finally, I have something that Shere Khan doesn't have!"

Outside, there was a loud whistle. A deep voice that sounded suspiciously like Baloo shouted, "Hey, guys, the Fabriget eggs are in there!" A split second later, the greedy mob burst through the front door.

Giving a shout of dismay, Mr. Sultan ran out of the back door of the pawn shop. As he sped by, an airfoil flashed from out of the shadows, scooping one egg out of the CEO's hand. The airfoil boomeranged back to Kit with the egg riding on top of it.

Boy and egg took off at a run down the alley in the opposite direction. They were joined by Baloo at the end of the block.

"Hey, kid, leggo my eggo!" Mr. Sultan shouted, hurrying after Kit. He was closely followed by his assistant, Trader Moe, the goons, the mob, and, finally, the emus.

The bespectacled pawn shop proprietor, who had wriggled out of his bonds, went to the doorway and watched as Baloo and Kit ran one way down the street, chased by a panting Mr. Sultan, Mr. Sultan's assistant, Trader Moe and his goons, the mob, and the emus.

A few minutes later, the entire parade, with Baloo and Kit at the front, ran the other way down the street.

"What now, Papa Bear?" Kit panted, glancing over his shoulder at the crowd chasing after them.

A gleam came into Baloo's eyes. "We're gonna flush our troubles down the drain."

"Not again!"

 _ **Back at Ye Olde Swamp…**_

Baloo and Kit, plus one Fabriget egg, flew out of the pipe and splashed down for a landing in the swamp.

"We did it, kiddo!" Baloo crowed, holding the gold and silver prize up triumphantly.

"Yeah…" Kit spit a stream of foul-tasting water out of his mouth. "We did it. Now let's get out of this place." He waded to shore, more than ready to leave Cove Fefi.

"I would, but it seems my foot's... _ow_...caught on somethin'."

The big bear gave one big tug with his foot, releasing it from whatever it was caught on. Immediately, there was a sucking sound as of water going down a drain. "What the…?" Baloo exclaimed as the water receded around him.

Once the water was gone, the crowd that had finally caught up with Baloo and Kit at the swamp gasped. Hundreds of treasure chests were half sunk in the swamp's muddy bottom. There was a mad rush for them.

The old lion busted the rusty lock on one treasure chest and opened it. "Fabriget eggs!"

From another part of the swamp, someone shouted, "Fabriget eggs!"

All over the swamp was the excited chorus of "Fabriget eggs!"

"Looks like everyone has an egg, boss," Rhino Goon said.

"Yeah, not the only ones," added Ape Goon. With one huge hand, he held both the emus by the necks. He was patting the annoyed looking emus on the head.

"What does it mean?" Rhino Goon asked.

"It means I'm taking back my clam washing machine," Mr. Sultan announced, slapping his Fabriget egg into Trader Moe's hands. The panther assistant followed, staggering under the weight of the appliance, as they headed for Mr. Sultan's private plane.

Trader Moe scowled at the egg that he had spent a lot of time and energy procuring. "It also means dis ain't worth two cents, no tanks to dat fat bear." Noticing Baloo and Kit trying to sneak away to the _Sea Duck_ , he shouted, "Get 'em, boys!"

"Will idiots never cease?" Baloo gasped.

Before Rhino Goon and Ape Goon could draw their guns, they were surrounded by ten Jenzeebar cops - elephants with big weapons and little humor. They wrested the emus from Ape Goon's grasp then proceeded to put handcuffs on Trader Moe and the goons. One police officer said, "We're arresting you for stealing royal property, wrecking the royal emu enclosure, and being royal pains."

As he was led away, Trader Moe said tentatively, "Maybe we's can make a deal?"

One officer said to Baloo and Kit: "Thanks for the phone tip. The king and queen really missed Fanny and Lulu."

"Fanny and Lulu?" Kit mouthed silently, sharing an amused look with Baloo.

"Because you helped us recover the royal pets, we're not arresting you. Plus your ban from entering Jenzeebar will be lifted if you'll give me that."

Baloo handed the Fabriget egg over without protest, just glad to not be going to jail. "You know what they say: the truth shall set you free."

 _ **Higher for Hire**_

"...and that's the truth, Becky." Baloo ended his narrative about the day's mishaps by collapsing, exhausted, into his easy chair. Kit, also exhausted, climbed onto the arm of the chair and slumped against Baloo.

An incredulous Rebecca looked at her pilot and navigator for a long moment before saying, "Your story about the emus, cookware salesmen, and hot tubs was better."

The End


End file.
